from LONE FIGURES AT A DISTANCE
Something’s dying
I’m sick
of my vocabulary
Defaults and habits
of mind The way
I walk What I want
is to put into words
my own silence
A mess of text
I can’t help
but make
The timelines don’t align
The basic assumption is impossibility
The threat of America
The notion of nations
The speed and agility of a fighter jet
minus the lethal intent
History gets longer
The experiment fails
The high school football team
staggers onto the field
A sunset on another planet
The distance is vast
Preparation is key
Waves washing away
a newly built beach
Nothing matters and then it does
There is a plan and then there isn’t
Vague image called a vision
The music of the dead
Their singing Its jarring
rhythms Discordant
melody There is no
security Ideas form
then crumble Call it
history A child stung
by a bee The child
screams Wants somebody
to do something Nobody
does Call it knowledge
That which is there
regardless of belief
Odd phrases
Conspicuous absences
The illusion is real A timeline
of circumstance bending in a
direction to be determined
A freighter floats down
the otherwise undisturbed
Hudson Time slows
to a smudge
Not wanting to sleep
but wanting to sleep
Then takes distinct shape again
What is happening
has consequences
Impassable
hours Lost
travelers
I had a vision for myself
The vision failed
Who’s speaking
is no longer
clear
The vast ocean
Violent waves
How is it with you
stranger
I stay up
and write
Make long
playlists
of sad songs
Each one
an elegy
New rhythm
of loss
and perseverance
Cycles of
suppression
and lift
Maybe even
nostalgia
for something
changing so fast
nostalgia itself
is lost
like everything else
we struggle
to keep
Each night someone wakes me and says
don’t breathe
My friends
your beloved names
escape me
The breeze and whatever
it does
I’m already
unprepared
We’re already
no longer here
To be in need of relief and know
there is no relief
To know each day
has never meant so much
as now
That these days are the end
and beginning—
a duality that is only
part of the pain
To be at a point of such loss
there are no words
The loss
compounds
The lack
gains urgency
until you don’t
break exactly
but plod on
under a weight
you’re certain
you can no longer
bear
and then
bear
